a thinking pride

In my lifetime, pride has always been defined as an attitude of meritless intensity. It has been made to mean, almost intrinsically, the setting of goals without rationality and the persuit of them without objectivity. These are the people who derive their pride from past events, before their birth, events that have effectively become myths, another world which we look at as if behind glass.

Pride, as I define it, is something which I choose to take responsibility for. I am as cognizant of the choice as of the weight of the responsibility. Pride of this type cannot be forced upon someone. It is purely merit based: when that merit is exhausted, so is the responsibility.

I am proud of the people and system of the United States of America as they work in this moment and for the moments in the future. Since I began my service in Peace Corps Moldova two years ago, that pride has grown as I realized the merits of my country of birth. Americans are self-dependent, trusting, and aren’t afraid to enjoy success; our system is based on opportunity and not punishment. It is deserving of my pride and love until it goes beyond saving – otherwise my pride will become that based on the past, on the myth, and it will serve values which I don’t believe.

This is what happened to so many people in Moldova and other former Soviet states: after the fall of communism, their pride flickered out. Since then, Moldova has given them nothing to be proud of, only a past so far gone (before WWII) that they could make not real connection to it. Stefan Cel Mare (a great Moldova/Romanian king from the 16^th century) replaced Lenin as the name of the main street in the capitol, but he could not have the same effect in the hearts of Moldovans: he represented the success of the past, while Lenin was calling for future greatness. After the breakup of the Soviet Union, trade borders were erected and Moldovan agricultural output, another source of pride, dropped like a rock as production returned to almost pre-industrialization levels. Realizing that the state would no longer assure their wages, people grabbed what they could and began to work, but they didn’t know what they were working for. They couldn’t work for money – money represented greed – yet they had to feed themselves and their family, and so they began living the lie of wanting something you have been taught to hate, resulting in self-immolation, depression, and alchoholism.

All the while, behind the glass in the myth world, communism remained. Politicians institute free-market reforms while stealing secret glances at a bust of Lenin, farmers complain of high taxes while wishing the state will buy everything they produce, producers demand the breakup of monopolies while pandering to politicians for no-bid contracts and government grants. Unfortunately, no one can have their cake and eat it too.

Though this example is focused on Moldova, it is in no way limited to it. You could just as easily make a case for how pride can just as easily drive as ruin the US or just about any country. I just happen to be here and so it’s easier for me to use what I have and experience. As I've seen Romania develop in the last 2 years, it's interesting to see how much of it is based on the promotion of pride. Recently they started a contest to determine the "most important Romanian". They have lots of traditional music festivals and other activities centered around promoting the idea of what it means to be a romanian person. For now, their pride acts as a motor built on the merits behind the glass - though not all of them are so ephemeral. When I was on the train, on the topic of Romanian development, some people said "you'll see in 10 years, romania will be a different country, a better country..." Now that's the stuff I like to hear.